Where is Elf Man?

Hopefully he’s fishing his butt off.

I'll call him

He was posting on Facebook last week.

He hath risen!

Catching any fish Elf?

Not many just yet, still learning the waters here.

I did fish my first bass tournament. It was a roadrunner event, 5 lakes to choose from and you could change lakes during the event. I chose Prairie Queen in Omaha. Its a CPR event (catch/photo/release), 5 fish limit and 12" minimum size. I'd never fished that lake before and only caught one fish, 8.75". lol

I had fun and I packed it in when the wind got to much for me. That wind wore me out. Right now I have an anchor and line (and an anchor trolley on the port side) but I want an anchor wizard before I start using it. It would have helped a ton to be able to anchor instead of constant pedaling to maintain boat position.

My 'yak has a 360 drive and that lets me maintain position at almost any angle. It also allows a 180 turn virtually in place. I can also maneuver it safely around/between obstacles.

Almost forgot, I almost chose Zorinsky and later found out the bass fishing there was pretty sad that day. One of the contestants started tossing baits for Musky and caught two 40"+ fish.

Don't lie, you met a girl.

Quote from slamfire

Don't lie, you met a girl.

I did but she's a hoarder and her stuff meant more to her than I did so I "unmet" her.

She had so much stuff in her bedroom you can barely walk around her bed. Stuff in front of her closet was piled almost waist high. Stuff was piled on the stairs, the basement and garage are both fire hazards and the only space for meal prep in the kitchen is the stovetop. Shipping boxes from Amazon? Once it makes it inside the house it never leaves.

I made the mistake of storing my whiskey there and she lost it somewhere in her house. The bottle of Ardbeg Drum I had, the price was up to $400-$600. Jefferson's Reserve Groth Cask $600. I had a limited edition bottle of Oban's also but I don't recall exactly which one it was. I'm guessing replacement cost for all 9 bottles I had was well over $2000, and while only one bottle wasn't a gift I'll never be able to replace that stuff. Lesson learned.

You need to stop dating freaks. There's someone out there for you.

That's ok, you have more important things to do. Those F-16's in Ukraine won't load themselves. You and me and Boroda's brother need to go over the checklists and get on with the live ICT's.

Quote from slamfire

You need to stop dating freaks.

I did, that's what I meant when I said I unmet her.

I don't have time for that kind of bullshit. Initially she said she wanted to clean the place up but as soon as I realized it was just so much bullshit I threw in the towel.

Quote from Escapegoat

That's ok, you have more important things to do. Those F-16's in Ukraine won't load themselves. You and me and Boroda's brother need to go over the checklists and get on with the live ICT's.

I get to be the crew chief. You can drive the jammer and Boroda's brother can drag around the toolbox. You and I will both have to ensure he doesn't sell any of the tools for vodka money.

JFYI, as a weapons crew chief my crew set a record for an ICT on F-15A's at Elemendorf.

Quote from Elf Man

I did but she's a hoarder and her stuff meant more to her than I did so I "unmet" her.

She had so much stuff in her bedroom you can barely walk around her bed. Stuff in front of her closet was piled almost waist high. Stuff was piled on the stairs, the basement and garage are both fire hazards and the only space for meal prep in the kitchen is the stovetop. Shipping boxes from Amazon? Once it makes it inside the house it never leaves.

I made the mistake of storing my whiskey there and she lost it somewhere in her house. The bottle of Ardbeg Drum I had, the price was up to $400-$600. Jefferson's Reserve Groth Cask $600. I had a limited edition bottle of Oban's also but I don't recall exactly which one it was. I'm guessing replacement cost for all 9 bottles I had was well over $2000, and while only one bottle wasn't a gift I'll never be able to replace that stuff. Lesson learned.

That's too bad. That mess sounds nasty though. I'll bet she had her makeup all over the place too and covering every inch of the bathroom counters.

So with women, early on here's a few tips:

If she's a cunt, she'll act like she owns your shit and she'll take liberties with it. The example of your expensive whiskey is exactly what I'm talking about. They'll start trying to find anything they can peel off you - from cash to anything valuable. It's a huge red flag if you see any behavior like that, and you have to ditch them immediately. They'll also nudge nudge wink wink try to influence you into buying them something very valuable. Ditch these types immediately.

The next big one is go out with them a lot and watch how they treat wait staff. Is she bitchy right out the box ? Talks down to waiters/waitresses ? Complains and returns everything, acts like a total cunt ? Think "Karen" behavior. That's another huge red flag.

Next look out for general insanity. A hoarder is definitely 100% no-go. Look for a temper. Look for unreasonable anger. Look for someone who is psychotic or over clingy. Also check for scars - up and down the arms - short dash like scars. You don't want a self-loathing "cutter". No fucking cat ladies.

Get drunk with her - if she's a nasty alcoholic, that will come out immediately.

Honestly, just with the above, you'll weed out 99% of the crazed whores out there. Oh and never date a Stripper or Hair Dresser - they're all nuts.

Also, DO NOT get involved with anyone who is an immigrant who doesn't have a green card. They will peel you like a banana esp nowadays.

Elfie's gonna wind up on Dateline.

90 Day Fiancé

"Elfman" - gets entangled with some batshit crazy Filipina who'll take swipes at him with her balisong.

That's what eating refined sugars looks like on some folks.