I got a shingles vax. I'm told you don't want to get THAT shit either, and unlike the Covid or flu shots, it actually prevents you from getting the disease
8am
Mrs. : Do these bumps on my face look like acne or something else?
Brauno; Uhh . . . doesn't look like acne to me. Does it hurt?
Mrs. : Yes, it hurts a lot.
2 Hours Later
Mrs. : Honey, I have more bumps. My phone (where she gets all her information) says it might be shingles.
Brauno: Yikes. It's all around your eye. I think that can be bad. You'd better call the Doctor.
One Hour later
Mrs. (sobbing): I called the dr and the lady said there was nothing they could do and then I said but it was around my eye and she said sorry there's nothing we can do you just have to wait it out and I said but it's really painful and she said just take aspirin and I said but what about it being around my eye and she said I said there is nothing we can do about it because it's a virus and I said but it really hurts and she said take an aspirin (takes a breath) and so I called Walgreens and talked to the pharmacist and he said there was nothing he could do because it was a virus and I said but it was really painful and he said take a Tylenol and I said but it's around my eye and he said sorry that's something for an eye doctor there is nothing he can do and so I said but it was really painful and he said I told you Tylenol was the best thing for that and I said isn't there eye drops or something and he said I already told you to call your eye doctor (takes a breath) and so I called WalMart since that's the where I get my glasses and I said I think I have shingles and they said that's great would you like to make an appointment and I said yes please and they said next Tuesday and I said but it's Thursday and it hurts and they said Tuesday was my earliest opening and I said but I think it's SHINGLES and it's in my eye and she said so what time on Tuesday is best and I said no it had to be today and she said what time Tuesday works best and I said but it really hurts and I need something today and she said to take an aspirin and come in TUUUUUUUUUEEEESSSDAAAAAAAAAY!!!! (more sobbing).
Brauno: Uhh . . . did you try calling my optometrist? You know, the real one and not the Wal-Mart special?
Mrs. : But she's in that town a half hour away and I know you went to school with her and she's your friend but you said she's always all booked up and she'll never see me and besides its so far awaaaaaaaaaaaaay (more sobbing).
Brauno: Well, let's try and see.
Phone rings: (generic pleasant answer).
Brauno: Hi. This is Brauno. I know Kimi is probably all booked . . .
(Gentile laughter on the other side of the phone): You must have gone to school with her. No one calls the Dr. Kimi unless they knew her as a kid.
Brauno: Well, yes, as a matter of fact. But anyway, Mrs. has bumps all around her eye, and we think it might be shingles. So I was hoping . . .
(Much more serious tone) Shingles? Please hold.
2 minutes of elevator music
(Pleasant tone) Hi there. We are normally closed for lunch between noon and 1 but the Dr. can see you at noon. Can you be here by then?
Brauno: looks at clock, adds 30 minutes, Yes we can.
By noon thirty, we have eye drops, a prescription for an anti-viral, and the obligatory lecture about depending on Wal-Mart Specials for your medical needs and praise for our good sense to know that TUESDAY would have been way too late to prevent damage to the eye if it actually got in there.
Oh, the Mrs and the kids go to my eye doctor now, not Wal-Mart. More expensive, but in some cases you really do get what you pay for.
/endramble