I know I give you guys a hard time about being old (because you are) but I'm no spring chicken either. Another friend was just diagnosed with cancer (colon) and as I was going in to cry about my tendonitis anyways, I went ahead and had my overdue colonoscopy scheduled. They said January... or next Tuesday. I said what the hell let's get it over with. So.. I just had my last solid meal until Tuesday. This is going to suck. I get real bad headaches if I don't eat regularly and they said I can't take any aspirin (Excedrin is the only thing that will touch my headaches) so this will be misery. I'm not so scared of having a camera stuffed in my ass as I am of some quack anesthesiologist killing me. I've been blessed with exceptional health my whole life. I've never even spent the night in a hospital and I've never been under a general anesthesia.. I figure.. If they kill me I'll be out cold so I'll be the last to know, so why worry. But I am a little. My friend Willard heard back from his doctor and they're pretty sure his cancer hasn't spread so that's good news. He's still got a hard row to hoe though... A couple prayers his way probably wouldn't hurt.
Getting Old Sucks
-
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Life really is short and something's going to get us before we're through.
You will be fine. The worst part of this is not going to be the procedure but waiting to eat solid foods until tuesday.
Are you able to eat yogurt? Maybe peanut butter with some smashed up bananas?
If you're able to eat any of that that would be good. Bananas would be good and filling. If you must mash them up.
Can you have tylenol?
I'm going to send some prayers off for your friend and for you. You're a good friend and I love you.
-
Don't eat otherwise you'll cloud the view. They didn't provide a strong laxative?
I have a colonoscopy every five years because every male in my line preceding me has died from ass cancer or complications related to ass cancer.
I hope to die from something else.
Now quit being a cunt.
You people greatly worry me.
-
Something else. Consider yourself dead then get on with living. I died decades ago and there are plethora of advantages to being amongst the dead.
-
And if you take more of those then you will get an overdose.
-
Display More
Don't eat otherwise you'll cloud the view. They didn't provide a strong laxative?
I have a colonoscopy every five years because every male in my line preceding me has died from ass cancer or complications related to ass cancer.
I hope to die from something else.
Now quit being a cunt.
You people greatly worry me.
You're a smart fella, Jack.
-
I'm dead
-
People forget. RockNRoll doesn't
-
-
I've had colonoscopies twice now and neither time was I told I couldn't eat for days. I wasn't allowed to eat from about 5 pm the day prior. The laxative they gave me cleaned me out in no time. Drinking that stuff every half hour was the worst part of the whole thing.
-
I had the drink some kind of orange flavored shit. It didn't really taste all that bad, I just didn't want to drink a gallon of it
-
You could have just gone to a convenience store and had a taco
-
That stuff they give you to relax/put you to sleep is awesome. Best sleep I get. Wish they'd give you a gallon to take home. Always wake up refreshed. Enjoy.
-
Nah, don't sweat it. I've got a family history so they've piped me every three years over the last two decades.
Quit worrying; it's a great nap.
