I Was Diagnosed with ADHD

in 1994. I was 26. and didn't follow through. I powered through it with tenacity and alcohol. Now I'm going to be 55 and not nearly as sharp as I used to be. There was a time not long ago when wherever I went I was pretty sure I was the smartest guy in the room. I never feel that way anymore. I have stopped using alcohol entirely and a veil has been lifted. I used to be able to compensate for my short circuit with an inner dialog constantly repeating the things I needed to do to accomplish my simple day to day tasks. That doesn't work anymore. I'm making stupid arrogant mistakes. I nearly burned my house down two weeks ago. My attention span is literally 15 seconds. I drift away in the middle of conversations. I mentally rage. I have FIVE fucking motorcycles in my garage in various states of customization/restoration because once the sparkle wears off I CANNOT force myself to complete ANYTHING and I'm making STUPID mistakes on invoices which is a HUGE no no.

While I was sitting here babysitting the house so that the pipes didn't freeze because the power company took my meter because the fire got into the electrical (had to have an electrician come out and make repairs and have it all inspected before they would bring the meter back) I kept seeing an ad in my facebook feed for an audible book called Adult Men with ADHD. So I went ahead and bought it and bawled my eyes out for 3.5 hours of this narrator who had obviously been looking over my shoulder taking notes for the last forty years. It is almost IMPOSSIBLE for me to do the same job for more than five years. I ran a radioshack for 7 years and it almost killed me. In 2010 I got my real estate license. Just like school, the mundane exercises were excruciating but the test was a breeze. But I lacked the follow through required to be successful. This summer, after I quit my five year job at the boat store, I decided to get my insurance license and sell life insurance over the phone. Cool setup... not really cold calling (I hate that) just contacting folks who had inquired through banner ads and such... I couldn't complete the course. My coach was flabbergasted and disappointed.. I told her this was A LOT harder than I thought it would be. She was confused.. I interviewed so well.. I passed the real estate test (which was supposed to be MUCH more difficult than the insurance test...) This course and test should have been a breeze.

So I went to see my doctor today. He's a great guy that I consider a friend. My wife is an administrator there and she HATES it when I see him because I always take too long because we spend the whole time bullshitting about stupid bullshit that throws his schedule off and half the time we never get around to addressing why I came... Well it turns out HE'S got ADHD too and he threw the whole place into crisis mode because "we've got to get you help pronto".

So anyways.... That's where I'm at.

dearest Storch,

I have missed you. Never leave me again.

We have a four bed one bath. Now that the children have grown we've decided to make it a three bed with a master suite. First we swapped rooms with the youngest (who may never leave, and I'm ok with that) and I began prepping the empty room that shares a wall with our new room.. First, I needed to get rid of the closet. So I removed the drywall and studs, leaving spikes protruding down from the ceiling. I realized that removing those nails was going to damage the drywall so I decided to zip them off with my handy dandy cut-off wheel.... Which set the cellulous insulation in the attic on fire.

The fire got at least a five minute head start before I heard it crackling. First piece of luck was that I had my step ladder in the house so I didn't have to go out to the garage to get it, saving another three minutes or so. When I opened the trap door, the flames, which started near the exterior wall, were already halfway to the peak. I knew that there was no way I was going to be able to put it out by myself. I grabbed my phone and dialed 911. This is where I learned something valuable... My cellphone will not connect a 911 call when it's on wifi... connecting.. connecting.. connecting.. Finally I hung up, turned off wifi and redialed and it connected instantly. 911 operator told me to exit the building and not reenter. I said "ok" and went back in. I filled my chili pot with water from the tub and attempted to throw it on the fire (I knew it wouldn't put it out I was just trying to slow it down). It only made it halfway... It was then that I remembered my kitchen fire extinguisher.. I emptied it center mass and it actually knocked the flames almost all the way down. I knew that there was nothing else I could do so I went to the road to wave in the fire trucks.. Next piece of luck... There was a state trooper who was only two miles away when he heard the call and was here within three minutes. He had a hard time finding his extinguisher buried in all the junk in the back of his cruiser, then had trouble getting the zip tie off the trigger... then he seemed like he was dragging his feet to get inside and up the ladder... I told him... "Look one of us has to go in there. If you're not comfortable doing it, I will." "Where is the fire?" he asked. "it's in the attic west side, when you stick your head up there, you'll see it. Whatever you do don't breath while you're up there." When we went back in the the fire had gained steam again and was raging pretty good. He emptied the extinguisher and it knocked the fire back down again.

Thirteen minutes (a lifetime but INCREDIBLY fast for a rural volunteer dept) later the fire dept got there and took over. It took them an hour or so to get the fire to the point where the chief felt it was out. "Do you want to see the damage?" I was absolutely amazed. The firemen had pulled my TV off the wall and pushed all of the living room furniture against the wall so they wouldn't hurt it. They pulled all of the drywall out of the bedroom ceiling and raked all of the insulation out of the attic as far as they could reach into my garbage dumpster and dumped it in the yard (it was still burning three days later). They never opened a hose in the house (they had one inside just in case but never used it). They contained the damage to just the bedroom and attic.

$24k later... I got a new truss, all new insulation, a new roof and new hardwood in the living room and hall, and I am one lucky emmer epher.

Quote from definitely-not-indy

Two threads, two fires in a few days.

Everybody go check your fire extinguishers.

This happened last January.

But, yeah.... Have at least ten fire extinguishers spread out throughout your house.

I was in a functional panic. I'm pretty proud of how I reacted. I did everything just right. Except... set the house on fire. But I'm not taking credit for saving the house; there was definitely a higher power involved. I spent the next week with my head stuck up there with a flashlight, waiting for the fire to come back. The whole thing fucked my head up pretty good. I'm better now.