Whenever I feel down, I remember how it was not that long ago.

First of all, I'm never really "down" too low. I've always been a pretty happy and easygoing person.

I've always trusted in the lord and have never been without. I feel that I am taken care of.

Three or four years ago I was not doing so well. I was figuring out how to to basic things - like dress and shop for clothes. I was afraid of a lot of stuff.

Driving for Lyft and basically coming home breaking even. It sucked. I didn't see much of a way out either. I didn't know what kind of job I could do, or get. Hadn't created a resume in maybe thirty years - I just fell into jobs.

I had a lot of legal stuff pending regarding my name and stuff. That was a lot of work. The name and sex change legal documents. I had to drive to LA for healthcare at a free clinic.

I knew I was not a loser though. LOL.

During this time, I had no friends I could talk with either. Dumped by my friend Liz. That hurt. Still hurts

I slowly somehow got through everything though. I was never feeling down - just very sad sometimes when I would think about my dad, or how I felt some people treated me.

Still. Life was never bad. I always think about how blessed I am. No matter what, it could have been worse.

My harsh attitude to feeling "slighted" or not respected by friends comes from some of what has happened over the past few years.

If I feel someone is not respecting me or treating me like I would treat anyone else, I eject. Basically I have a little bitch inside now that won't put up with being walked on. Either a boss, friend, whatever.

I just feel that I'm a special person to me. lol.

I'm just typing this stuff because I responded to a FB friend's post regarding something similar.'

I'm in a good mood. Other than having to go online to pay my car registration. lol.

I've never felt unloved. I have some really true friends.

Thanks, Sluggo

I tend to move on now. I don't need to revisit stuff that I've move on from.

FW is something I've moved on from. Not my friends there, but that place. I know everyone probably thinks I'm an asshole, and that I'll be back. I won't be back.

No one's fault. Just me.

I really never expected anyone to have to walk on eggshells because of what I did in my life. I made a major change and never expected people to feel obligated to treat me in any certain way.

You guys have been amazing. I've bragged about all of you guys many times.

I couldn't ask for better friends.

Yeah. she didn't really play me though. I think she might have liked me as Ron. Kind of complicated. I understand her point of view - but what I'll never understand is the complete ghosting. that felt like a death.