• I hate Amazon.

    Seriously what a shit company.

    So I ordered a few hundred dollas in some hardcover books. Box gets here, and to my surprise, they were just tossed in a cardboard box, loose with zero padding (5+ books). The box was handled roughly (dropped several times by the looks of it), and all the books were damaged (caved in splines and one warped in half).

    I returned them immediately via Khols or whatever the fucking hell that store is called, where I had to stand behind some methhead middle aged woman and her son at Customer Service. She was doing the typical meth scam of buying like $2000 in shit at the store, and then returning it for Khols Cash. There's been this long exploit in their return policy that the druggies use. I have not figured it out, but I've seen it several times in action where you see a meth monster with three fucking shopping carts full of shit - they buy it, leave the store, then come back 5 mins later to return everything. Somehow they come out ahead for their trouble. It probably has to do with mining points. I don't live in a bad area - you have tweakers who will drive and hit every Kohls within 100 miles to do this scam.

    Anyways, whatever not my business, but I had to stand there holding a heavy fucking box for like 15 mins straight - then some dipshit kid came along and told me Amazon Returns are handled in the toy dept (WTF). So yeah if I wasn't mad as fuck before, I was mad now.

    So Amazon didn't have an option to replace the books - it was cash refund only. The kicker was it take 3 weeks for them to refund you now. WTF. Anyways, I applied for a refund, and RE-ORDERED the same shit all over again.

    I then went to their customer service online and found it actually doesn't exist. It's a rat maze of back-to-the-title screen menus, designed 100% to make it almost impossible to file a complaint. Eventually I found the link where you can chat with someone, and after going through another automated rat-maze of leading questions, I eventually found myself in an IRC style chat with new "friend" "Santosh".

    Great... they sent me to Bombay, the Hard Way.

    Anyways, I told him about the books and informed him that the purpose of this "chat" was me filing a complaint with the way Amazon ships their shit. I wasn't asking him for a refund, replacement or to fix the problem... I was there to file an old school complaint to his upper echelon dip-dunk cocksucking MBA cuntstick muckety-mucks who run the shitshow.

    I went full Social Justice Warrior on them - using the environmentalist angle that their policy is to DESTROY returned books - saying they were deeply negligent in protecting mother earth and murdering trees. I also scolded them for "being the original online book store" - like WTF - how can they not have mastered shipping fucking books ? Books made them what they are today!!! Anyways, "Santosh", trained in empathic manipulation readily agreed with me and also stated he was an avid lover of books etc etc etc - anything to steer the conversation to cool me down. I refused to take that bait and just told them "YOU BETTER SHIP THE NEXT BATCH PROPERLY OR ELSE I'll write Beto and several Democratic Congresswhores".

    Fucking Cunts. And yes, I love using that tactic... going all left wing activist vs Corporate America. When they embrace Leftism, I fucking stuff it back down their throats and punch it down to tamp it all in.

    So after it was all done I wrote a matter of fact one star review on the transaction. I stated that they were negligent in their service and guess what ? It was taken down and flagged as inappropriate content. Amazon now has a policy that you can only criticize the goods, not their service (which is now akin to grabbing your grandmother's tits). So you guessed it, they now sanitize all their reviews and remove ANYTHING negative about THEM.

    Anyways, we are now in a duel. If that fucking new batch of books comes in an unpadded box, I'm going to return it again, even for the slightest cosmetic damage, and we're going to do this shit ALL OVER AGAIN. I don't give a fuck if it takes 10 attempts. It if costs them $5000 to ship a few books, then so be it. If they trash order after order, I WILL write the Democrats.

    I'm stupid that way and I give no fucks.

    Jeff Bozos is a fucking bald headed money grubbing penis with ears.


  • If the next batch comes damaged, I'll up the ante and Brown Envelope their asses. What is a Brown Envelope ? Oh it's a very old school government tactic I learned decades ago working in the Federal Gov in Canuckistan. You write a paper letter that is CC'ed (has everyone's name in it that will get a copy), and I'll CC Bezos, and multiple Democrat Politicians where I'll print out their policy on destroying returned books, and show how they are negligent in their shipping, which kills the fucking environment, and basically their are a bunch of negligent tree killing assholes.

    It's called a Brown Envelope because it comes in a government large format envelope that is always brown in color. Letters like that always mean serious business, and since a bunch of people get it, and everyone knows everyone else who got it, then they can't sit on it. They know that this guy knows and that guy knows, and they must act for fear of not acting on a hot button issue. It's like peer pressure - they become assholes if they don't act, and their rivals all know they didn't act.

    Anyways, it's their move now, and I have my follow up ready to fire.

  • I ordered and returned three defective bug zappers before the vender said "sorry, we're not going to send you another one.

    Prepare to have your patience tested and to ultimately be disappointed.

    All Government is Organized Crime.

  • Oh it's sport to me at this point. It ends when they deliver my books in pristine condition, or they decide they've wasted enough of their own time and money. Everyone should do this shit to them when they fuck up.

    I really hate them though - a ruthless company that rises to monopoly, then the MBAs come in and the cheap out on every last possible thing.

  • It's a weird thing. Every single Liberal Democrat I've known here, ultimately loses their career job due to Democrat policies and really just being low effort workers, and they all end up working like pack mules in the slave pens of the Amazon Fulfillment Centers (usually the night shift).

    The more they get packed in there with other Liberal Democrats, the more the service at Amazon sucks. Amazon was stellar about 10 years ago.

  • It's also the private army of shitbags they use to deliver goods. You rarely get shit with UPS anymore - it's some goofball dressed like a gang banger, in an absolute shitbag car with mis matching body panels and a donut wheel. These are the cunts who throw boxes on concrete if they can save taking two steps.

  • Slamming the old phone was a fine art.

    You'd say some funny-ass expletive, then the person on the other end would actually hear the air flying over the microphone, and the reciever would bang into the phone, making a ring, and the receiver would bounce and open the circuit momentarily so the other user could hear part of the bang and ring, then it would go


    And they'd sit there dumbfounded for about 2 seconds "Did that SON OF A BITCH just hang up on me?!?!?!"

  • Another good one is if you get the call moved up to management and it's a female manager - you cut her off immediately and say "Look honey, I don't have time to talk to an Executive-Secretary (said condescendingly) please put Mister Manager on the line.