Jundies. Always the fucking Jundies.

  • So I flew out of New Calcutta (Toronto) this AM. Fucking flight delayed by... who ? Who else... Canada's emerging majority. Jundies.


    So what happened ? Well, Canada isn't quite with the times, and is often old fashioned. In a way it's like Japan - as in there's kind of an honor system, and you don't really have to police people too much to do the right and honorable thing. It generally works. They still have grocery stores that take your stuff and put it in bins outside while you go get the car, you can drive by and pick it up on your own. Nobody steals unattended groceries left outside etc. I bet they did the same in the USA in the 1940s or some such shit.


    Anyways, basic scenario - on a modern airliner, you can bring two things as carry on. 1. Your carry on luggage, and 2. a personal item (small bag or back pack etc).


    You are supposed to stow your luggage in the overhead bin, and toss your personal item (bag) under the seat in front of you. Even on a full plane, there's enough room. Your typical overhead bin can hold three, sometimes four pieces of luggage. It's enough if people put their personal item under the seat in front of them. It's not rocket science.


    What fucks everything up ? Jundies of course.


    Jundies being Jundies, they always try to get one up on the system, cut corners, or do really stupid dangerous shit.


    In this case, they think they are being clever, throwing all their shit in the overhead bin, so they can get more leg room. Cheat everything you can. The antithesis of the Honor System.


    So what happens when half the fucking plane is Jundies ?


    I'm glad you asked.


    All the bins fill up before even half the plane is loaded... then you have people all jammed in there, unable to sit down, and unable to back out - and the stewardess are all up font, unable to sort the mess out.


    Total clusterfuck - flight delayed etc etc etc. Of course there was yelling, people throwing smaller bags out of bins on the floor, nobody owning up to who owned what etc etc.


    In the end, rather than deplane and have air crew watch every single person get seated, they just took all the overflow and checked it - like opened a door, walked the shit down some stairs, and tagged luggage with stickers - and the only people affected (of course) were white folks - normal Canadians - the ones who followed the rules. Of course the airline gets fucked too - the flight is delayed, and nobody is going to pay the extra fee to check the bags that should not actually be checked.


    The Jundies get their "free" extra leg room.


    Those people should not be allowed to fly.

  • The funniest shit every though, is before boarding, they had the gate call about 20 jundies to the desk to check their id (they cheated the system yet again, downloading their boarding passes without ever showing anyone their ID up to that point somehow).


    Anyways. when you have a little French Canadian girl trying to name 20 jundie names, it's hysterical.


    "JABADABA-DOO PRASHINIBLUBLA" *mic button released* "Tabarnac c'est pas du monde ca!" *mic button pressed "JALABALABA uh SHAWSWASH...uh..."

  • Americans are no better. Think of every bullshit policy involving coupons or sale prices or returns that a retailer has. Every single one of them is a reaction to fucking assholes exploiting loopholes. People suck.

  • You are supposed to stow your luggage in the overhead bin, and toss your personal item (bag) under the seat in front of you. Even on a full plane, there's enough room.


    I wish. I was denied overhead bin space after paying for upgrades, complained to the chief stewardess, who responded by threatening to to have me removed from the plane. Regular flight out of Chiraq. So triggered I couldn't make it to the end of your post and see the same shit happened to you. Had to scroll back for that.

  • Back when I was flying 100k+ miles per year, I was invariably selected for bag check. Biggest downside of that, you're the LAST fucking person on the plane, and all the overhead storage in the FRONT is used up by crew and/or fuckers to sat further back. Result: I'd have to go back 5-10 rows to stow my shit, meaning I was the last person OFF the plane too

    Well respected man about town doing the best things most conservatively

  • Let's say there's three seats on your side of the row. Open the bin above. It's huge. It can hold more than 3x carry on sized suitcases. Then you have three areas under the seat in front of you.


    There's more than enough room for everyone on board. In 1st class it's even more roomy, and there's no 3x rows (2x only). Load of space, even in this era of cramming as much as possible by the airlines. It's fucking idiots trying to cheat the system 100%.


    Now what's the x-factor with all this usable space ? You have flight crew, but they have stowage areas typically in their working spaces (quickly gobbled up by FI's with say a big bass guitar case or some shit kid's stroller. There's a couple of bins dedicated to some safety equipment as well - like 1 or 2. There's still LOADS of space.


    Another way people cheat (esp Jundies) is they circumvent the check in. It's easy to do that nowadays, you can download your ticket, even on an international flight, and the first time you get eyeballs on your situation is at the gate itself. Just download your ticket (or use the automated teller - even better as you won't be called out on the gate PA system), and just claim you don't have checked luggage (the automated teller can't check you out). Show up to the airport, go right through security (who don't stop any oversized luggage), and show up at the gate - and try to get your kids to play musical bags and sneak big items onboard. People do it all the time... Gate attendants know the area is "Safe" and they often can't track what everyone is doing if there's jundie chaos ensuing.


    Canada is an interesting case study. I've flown there for years and years (decades) - it's only VERY RECENTLY (co-coinciding with the mass importation of Jundies) that all these problems started - not just the overhead bin example, but EVERYTHING in society.


    I can't shit on the muslims this time. The only thing they carry onboard is a tiny box cutter. They are very efficient packing minimalists, and other than killing everyone board, they are very polite travelers.

  • Actually, last year I flew, same airline (Air Canada), and I watched this hilarious guy come strolling down the aisle.


    He was towing a small carry on suitcase on wheels and a personal bag (appropriate size).


    He was humming a tune, and I could hear it.


    "♪ ♫ La-ta-tehda-TA, la-ta-tehda-TUH ♪ ♫"


    Middle aged white Canadian guy, English from the sound of it.


    He stared at the three empty seats in his row, and opened up the overhead bin. It was filled with other people's shit.


    Without missing a beat, keeping that hum going ("♪ ♫ La-ta-tehda-TA, la-ta-teha-TUH ♪ ♫")


    He very meticulously, and even politely, unpacked the bin, put all the shit on the ground, then put in his suitcase neatly, oriented correctly, then tossed his personal bag under the seat, then in the most unselfish move I saw all day, HE PUT HIS CHAIR BACK up (where it would stay all flight). and settled in, completely relaxed.


    Then the stewardess came - "are these your bags ?!" (on the floor).

    "♪ ♫ La-ta-tehda-TA, la-ta-teha-TUH ♪ ♫" "Nope" "♪ ♫ La-ta-tehda-TA, la-ta-teha-TUH ♪ ♫".


    Then to me "Are these your bags?"

    "Nope".


    No fucks given whatsoever, very zen-like calmness. Nothing phased that guy. It dawned on me that this guy must fly all the time, and at some moment, he surely snapped, then afterwards carefully thought out the situation, and devised a way of dealing with it, while keeping his sanity.


    LOLOLOLOLOLOL

  • Americans aren't the same. No fucking way. I've never had that happen on a plane.

    Yeah the key here is I was flying OUT OF New Calcutta (Toronto) - a Jundie MAJORITY city. The plane was at least 25% Jundie, which I confirmed not only Visually, but Olfactory (IE Jundies have a very strong and distinctive stink).

    It is a 100% Jundie Thing. If I fly out of Montreal, there are no such problems.


    I've never seen this thing happen in the USA either.

  • The problem is airline boarding procedures. They just won’t learn. None of them.


    Close all overhead bins. Station the FAs along the aisle to stop anyone putting their shit in a bin that’s not over their row.


    Thane board the aircraft from the very back to the front by row. One FA moving along opening bins as the rows move forward. Board First class last.


    It’s not rocket surgery.


    Late arriving pax get their bags gate checked into the baggage bin

  • Glad I have no reason to get into those overcrowded germ tubes anymore. There’s nowhere I want to go that I can’t drive to.

    Man, speaking of that...


    I have to say vehicles, low midrange to luxury are just so fucking comfortable now.


    Context: I went from doing massive road trips in the 70s and 80s - like multiday, 8 hour drive etc.


    Back then, you HAD to pull over at Rest Areas every 3-4 hours (TOPS) to just take 20 mins to walk around and work out kinks everywhere and get blood flowing back to your feet etc. This was the era of BENCH seats with zero lumbar support etc.


    In the last few years, I did... at least 10 trips where it was 14 hour days, straight shot drives (stopping only to piss a couple times - eating shit I brought with me while driving).


    Jump out of the car at the final destination, mentally tired, sure, but physically fresh as a fucking daisy. Actually more comfortable than if you sat around the house all day. That's how good modern cars are comfort wise.


    Now if you have a high end car... OMG, it puts First Class to absolute shame - your chairs can even give you a massage, and have lower back cooling/ac.


    *kisses fingers*


    Road trips are so fucking easy nowadays compared to the old days. You have way more food choices as well if you pull over off any interstate.